2009 is almost over.  And Will is sitting here, coughing, blowing his nose (which can easily be mistaken for a trumpet if you are in the other room), and trying to apply his herpes cream.  Of course I keep stealing it and throwing it around the room, because i find it funny when he has to scratch himself all day.  Or in the off chance that a woman takes his drawers off, she can find it funny when she sees that the outbreak of herpes on his crotch miraculously are in the shape of the Three Wisemen.  Will is festive.  He has also dyed most hairs on his body, (not ontop of his head), red and green for the winter season.  I have also secretly put bells attached to the back of his car, so when he drives, children think its Santa in disguise.  Though, for this, I do feel sorry, and must apologize to Sammy Hawkes, a 12 year old child, that Will punched square in the face last week.  Anyway, onward! 

This article is going to go ahead and contain the top five Man Crushes of 2009: 

#5 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt -  28 years old, and rebuilding a career can be tough.  Okay, so he already has rebuilt it, but still.  Lets face facts, when you grow up on a television show, and you are great as a child acting opposite to John Lithgow, you have a future!  But when the show is cancelled, what do you do?  You reinvent yourself.  He had already gotten 10 Things I Hate About You under his belt, and then he kind of disappeared from the spotlight in 2001 when 3rd Rock From the Sun was cancelled.  But in 2004 he came back with Mysterious Skin, and accepted Gregg Araki as his director, and even Michelle Trachtenburg like you have never seen her.  Now?  This year alone 5 movies released with him in them.  Most Notably, (500) Days of Summer.  Go Mr. Levitt.  If you stay this strong, you are gonna have to move up next year. 

#4 - Clive Owen - born in 62, this English actor really burst onto the scene as the driver in the BMW shorts.  And he's well, kind of made a career out of that.  So, good for him.  Plus he's awesome in action films.  And his variety is everywhere! from Shoot 'Em Up to Children of Men, Sin City and Closer.  This manly man, makes you smell his musk through the silver screen.  Way to go Clive.  We love you as well.

#3 - Lee Pace - Born in 1979, in Oklahoma, for 23 years, most cinephiles, and television enthusiasts would have no clue what they were in for.  He went on to star in Soldier's Girl as Calpernia Addams, Wonderfalls as Aaron Tyler, and Pushing Daisies as Ned, the piemaker.  Is this why I love Lee Grinner Pace?  Nope, not at all.  I mean I do love him for this stuff, but we can all admit, that he is actually a very pretty man.  Plus, if you haven't seen The Fall, then you don't know what you are missing.  Pace's turn as Roy Walker is the best acting this side of, well, I guess the universe.  Look into Lee Pace's eyes.  He's the number three spot for 2009 Neurosisnine Man Crushes.  Though in our hearts, he's number one for sexiest man of the year.  Go Lee!

#2 - David Duchovney - Born in 1960, Mr. Duchovney started a life that would lead him to almost the top of our 2009 Man Crush List, but not quite there yet.  Most known for Mulder in the X-Files, or even Agent Dennis in Twin Peaks, or hell, even Jake Winters in the Red Shoe Diaries, he has taken a stunning turn in the past two years and has reinvented himself as yet another most notable and rememberable character.  Mr. Hank Moody, the Bret Easton Ellis-esque character on Showtime's Californication.  Please watch this show, it's kind of awesome!  Kudos Mr. Duchovney.

#1 - Jeff Goldblum - born in 1952, this Pittsburgh native has been at the top of my list for years?  Why?  I dont know, it's freakin' Jeff Goldblum.  Look at him, what's not to love?  Olive complexion, dark hair, deep dark eyes, and really good at acting.  If you didn't expect this to be the number one man crush of the year, then you are not a fan of ours.  And if you don't agree with me?  We shall have some words.  In fact, the rumor of Jeff Goldblum dying this year, sent some very close friends to the measures of calling me, even having Andy Coon from FCProducer and All Aces Media, ask if I was sitting down to hear the news.  I'll be glad to report that Goldblum, JG, as I like to call him, is alive and well, and has two movies in Post right now.  Jeff, I love you.  From the bottom of my heart, to the top of your black hair.  You sir have won the #1 Neurosisnine ManCrush of the Year award.

And that about does it for my creepy, semi-homoerotic article, Year In Summary, 2009 Man Crushes.