We here at Neurosisnine Films would like to give thanks to the following people for making this video possible: (Besides our standard crew)

We'd like to thank, and give special hugs to the hardworking men at the Hard Warehouse Film Studios.  We felt we were a little short handed that we had to get these guys to stop shooting gay porn, and instead help us with our film.  We really appreciate it. 

"I understand that you don't want us to be rebellious.  I understand that, but where would we be as a great nation, if we weren't rebellious . . . . George Washington.  He was a rebel.  They told him, George, you can't cut down a cherry tree.  You just can't do that.  And you know what he did?  He cut down a damn cherry tree!  After that, he was known as Reckless George.  He was allowed to do anything he wanted!  They told a painter one day, look, Mr. DaVinci, there's a guy we know, he wants to have his portrait done.  And you know what?  He wants to do it, while on a boat, trying to stand still in the middle of the Delaware!!  What did DaVinci say?  He said yes, he would do it.  And why?  Because it was George HGW Washington!  And that my friends, is why we are here today.  I refuse to back down for anyone!"

5: TextsFromLastNight and/or Sleeping:  That site all your friends go to, and you appeared on in a drunken haze and/or what you do instead of leading a life.

    The Point:  To laugh at other people's misfortunes.  Texts From Last Night is an amazing site!!  Alternatively, I find myself there too much.  Also, Sleeping.  The point?  Well, to rebuild your body or some shit, I don't know.  I think its so you don't see the little faeries that come into your room at night, and stink it up with their body odor, or flatulence, and make it seem like it was you and you shouldn't have eaten those chicken wings, with five doubles of Cranberry and Vodka.

4: VH1:  Its that other station that used to show music videos.

    The Point:  Vh1 use to be amazing.  Because Mtv started sucking, and some how actually achieved a status worse than just sucking when it started showing The Hills, etc.  Anyway, Vh1 was awesome, they still showed music videos.  Of course, now they don't, but they are still a brilliant waste of time.  I found myself multiple times through out this year stopping and watching shows like For the Love of Ray J, or whatever, plus I still love the I Love the Millenium stuff, or even Best Week Ever.  Vh1 has everything.  Im kind of looking forward to the next season of Celebrity Rehab, I love Dr. Drew.

3: Farmville:  This is one of those ridiculous flash games that are on Facebook. 

    The Point:  You are a farmer, and you have to harvest your crops, gain money, build your farm, and harvest your crops again before they wither in this action packed game, that paces anywhere from harvesting your crops in four hours, or waiting like three days for cotton to grow.  I would have to state that this is a huge, huge time waster.

2:  Drinking:  This is something you do at the bar amongst friends, or by yourself.

    The Point:  Um, does it really need one?  It's drinking.  The only reason why I am stating this as a time waster, is because i have the knack for either getting really excited or depressed.  So plenty of time was probably wasted drinking a beer, sitting on the porch, and thinking about women that don't matter, or pining over those who do.  This can also be counter attacked with the excitedness of watching something really cool, like the movie Thirst, and then having a 40 minute conversation about it because you are too drunk to drive.

1:  Working:  This is something you do to kill your creativity.

    The Point:  To make money, try to make a living for yourself, all while pushing all those dreams you once had into the back of your head, where you can barely find any time to deal with them.  I guess this isn't really a waste of time so to speak.  I mean, I have health insurance now, which I haven't had in a number of years.  I get paid nicely to listen to people complain all the time over the phone.  But at the same time, I find myself writing less and less, or rather, not having the time to.  Jobs are ridiculous.  Can't one get paid to write?  That happens sometimes, doesn't it?  Oh well, we'll see.  If Tucker Max can make money being a complete douche that you want to punch in the throat, then I suppose others can as well.  Well, off to work now, I get to bring in the new year by answering calls. 

This article is going to go ahead and contain the top five Man Crushes of 2009: 

#5 - Joseph Gordon-Levitt -  28 years old, and rebuilding a career can be tough.  Okay, so he already has rebuilt it, but still.  Lets face facts, when you grow up on a television show, and you are great as a child acting opposite to John Lithgow, you have a future!  But when the show is cancelled, what do you do?  You reinvent yourself.  He had already gotten 10 Things I Hate About You under his belt, and then he kind of disappeared from the spotlight in 2001 when 3rd Rock From the Sun was cancelled.  But in 2004 he came back with Mysterious Skin, and accepted Gregg Araki as his director, and even Michelle Trachtenburg like you have never seen her.  Now?  This year alone 5 movies released with him in them.  Most Notably, (500) Days of Summer.  Go Mr. Levitt.  If you stay this strong, you are gonna have to move up next year. 

#4 - Clive Owen - born in 62, this English actor really burst onto the scene as the driver in the BMW shorts.  And he's well, kind of made a career out of that.  So, good for him.  Plus he's awesome in action films.  And his variety is everywhere! from Shoot 'Em Up to Children of Men, Sin City and Closer.  This manly man, makes you smell his musk through the silver screen.  Way to go Clive.  We love you as well.

#3 - Lee Pace - Born in 1979, in Oklahoma, for 23 years, most cinephiles, and television enthusiasts would have no clue what they were in for.  He went on to star in Soldier's Girl as Calpernia Addams, Wonderfalls as Aaron Tyler, and Pushing Daisies as Ned, the piemaker.  Is this why I love Lee Grinner Pace?  Nope, not at all.  I mean I do love him for this stuff, but we can all admit, that he is actually a very pretty man.  Plus, if you haven't seen The Fall, then you don't know what you are missing.  Pace's turn as Roy Walker is the best acting this side of, well, I guess the universe.  Look into Lee Pace's eyes.  He's the number three spot for 2009 Neurosisnine Man Crushes.  Though in our hearts, he's number one for sexiest man of the year.  Go Lee!

#2 - David Duchovney - Born in 1960, Mr. Duchovney started a life that would lead him to almost the top of our 2009 Man Crush List, but not quite there yet.  Most known for Mulder in the X-Files, or even Agent Dennis in Twin Peaks, or hell, even Jake Winters in the Red Shoe Diaries, he has taken a stunning turn in the past two years and has reinvented himself as yet another most notable and rememberable character.  Mr. Hank Moody, the Bret Easton Ellis-esque character on Showtime's Californication.  Please watch this show, it's kind of awesome!  Kudos Mr. Duchovney.

#1 - Jeff Goldblum - born in 1952, this Pittsburgh native has been at the top of my list for years?  Why?  I dont know, it's freakin' Jeff Goldblum.  Look at him, what's not to love?  Olive complexion, dark hair, deep dark eyes, and really good at acting.  If you didn't expect this to be the number one man crush of the year, then you are not a fan of ours.  And if you don't agree with me?  We shall have some words.  In fact, the rumor of Jeff Goldblum dying this year, sent some very close friends to the measures of calling me, even having Andy Coon from FCProducer and All Aces Media, ask if I was sitting down to hear the news.  I'll be glad to report that Goldblum, JG, as I like to call him, is alive and well, and has two movies in Post right now.  Jeff, I love you.  From the bottom of my heart, to the top of your black hair.  You sir have won the #1 Neurosisnine ManCrush of the Year award.

And that about does it for my creepy, semi-homoerotic article, Year In Summary, 2009 Man Crushes. 

Anyway, nothing happened in September anyway.  We spent the whole month playing Mafia Wars, and standing around in awe of World's Greatest Dad, muttering to ourselfs, "f***ing, Bobcat Goldthwait."

But it's a new month, and a new season; so we're working on a feature about Rasputin's penis.  Yes, I know that's the most amazing thing you've ever heard.

Also, I'm sure someday we will get out stuff up on funny or die, so place you bets now.  One day it's going to happen.

We'll until next month...

I'll leave you with this.

That being said, here is the link for the Apple Exclusive trailer for "The Men Who Stare At Goats."  It looks fun and entertaining.  And if you want to read the book, written by Jon Ronson, you can't because it is currently out of print.  It looks like they will be re-releasing the book, with the upcoming movie sure to be a hit, they might as well.  Who wants to be the cover is the same as the poster? 

Currently Reading:  Last Night of the Earth Poems, The Perks of Being a Wallflower